To say that I am so over December 2023 is a gross understatement. This will probably be one of the most difficult blogs I have ever written. I don't think I will forget this month ever, but some details may become fuzzy.. so this is for me to stay clear in the future:
December 7 I drive from Shippensburg to Harrisburg to go to what I thought was going to be a normal work day. December 4, I went to my family doctor thinking I had a sinus or an ear infection with a ton of sinus pressure and a headache for close to a week. Hindsight i should have demanded scans, something just wasn't right in my head.
Fast forward -- i had already taken a sick day this week, i can't use another. Drive to work. Shannon notices I struggle on my left side with my coat. My cognitive function isn't firing properly. Poor decisions being made and not normal decisions. Hindsight so many red flags were waving, but the dots are connected weeks later.
At work, it's a 3 story building, i thought I climbed the 3 sets of steps, nope.. only 2.. got off on the 2nd floor very confused since nothing looked right. I tell a co-worker this. her spidey senses are on high alert. She says later that morning to me.. "I'm taking you to the hospital. I was thinking i may have suffered from a stroke and didn't realize it. She must have felt a similar inkling. speech was slurry, confusion, left side wasn't strong.
Thankfully she drove me to Holy Spirit hospital in Camp Hill (I received top notch medical attention by doctors and nurses. so Thankful!)- the ER listened to me and took my concerns seriously. I was placed into a room at the ER to await CT scans and an MRI of my brain to see if something was going on... well, sadly, something was going on. I had a baseball sized lesion in the right frontal lobe that was causing a headache for a week or so and must have taken over my cognitive thinking.
Craniotomy was done on December 9 and i was discharged from the hospital on December 11 to recover at home with my family and my pets.
The same day I was admitted to the hospital, December 7, Audrey had her wisdom teeth removed. Shannon had just got her home from that procedure when i informed him I was being driven to the ER. Talk about a whirlwind for all of us.
We met with a neurosurgeon who was going to do the craniotomy to remove as much of the tumor as he could. Thankfully, he was able to remove 85-90% of it. Sent a sample to be tested.
Those words no one ever wants to hear -- "I'm so sorry, but it's cancer" were eventually heard to my ears. As a medical team, we recommend an oral chemotherapy and radiation to control the remaining portion of the tumor.
In the midst of this insane storm, we are so thankful for those who planned for us -- meals, kid activities, pets, a GoFundMe. Truly blessed with an amazing village who circled us in love and support when we wanted to crumble into a ball on the floor. We would have been lost without the Project Managers and their crew making spreadsheets.
I have been fitted for a radiation mask that will be used starting January 17 for 6 weeks, Monday-Friday in conjunction with an oral chemotherapy. Then, there will be a 4 week break with no treatments before having an MRI see how the remaining tumor reacted to the treatments. If it remains, there may be a second round of chemo only but not everyday. The medical team - oncology, radiology and hematology will discuss and develop a plan to attack. The Penn State Cancer Institute has therapy that I will begin later in January to help process this nightmare and how to talk to my kids about what's going on. We've tried to be honest with them and give them info as we feel they can handle it without trying to overwhelm them... but, let's call a spade a spade -- this is hard and scary. At 15(Audrey), 11(Landon) and 8(Hannah) years old this shouldn't be something they need to worry about.
I'm only accepting positive vibes in 2024. One doesn't realize their own strength until faced with such devastation. But I am competitive and hate to loose. Cancer -- you don't belong in my brain or my body. At this point, I'm roughly 3 weeks post craniotomy. I don't think I could have sat and typed this any sooner. I have been doing puzzles to help work my brain and reconnect some neurons. Each day there are a few more things or activities I can do independently. Some of my fine motor function has been compromised - hoping that returns with some PT/OT and daily use. My speech isn't 100% what is was prior to surgery, but a little better every day.
At this point, I can only think about taking this journey one step or appointment at a time. More than that is overwhelming and crippling.
