We have had some disappointments with the process of moving. We are ready to get an offer, make an offer, box up our stuff, put it in a truck, unload our boxes, unpack them and make new memories. We are just ready. However, it's not happening as we thought that it would. So we wait.
Let me first say this - I love my church - Lifehouse. I/we have found the messages to be what we needed exactly when we needed them. As well as some comic relief -- Harlem Shake - CHECK IT OUT! I'm pretty sure we just watched that video about 20 times.. So, yes, hilarious, but also applicable.. Big idea I grabbed from today - Live a legacy. Not leave a legacy.
I know the basics of a Nobel Peace Prize, but had no idea how the prize came into existence. Turns out the gentleman, Alfred Nobel, read what was supposed to be his brother's obituary but it was actually HIS. From Wikipedia ---
In 1888 Alfred's brother Ludvig died while visiting Cannes and a French newspaper erroneously published Alfred's obituary.[1]
It condemned him for his invention of dynamite and is said to have
brought about his decision to leave a better legacy after his death.[1][7] The obituary stated, Le marchand de la mort est mort ("The merchant of death is dead")[1]
and went on to say, "Dr. Alfred Nobel, who became rich by finding ways
to kill more people faster than ever before, died yesterday."[8] Alfred was disappointed with what he read and concerned with how he would be remembered.
Can you imagine reading what was supposed to be a siblings obituary but it was actually your OWN?! Needless to say, Nobel changed his will and developed what we now know as the Nobel Peace Prize. I found that amazing. He was able to completely change and created a new legacy that day.
Also, there is a huge difference between God's will and doing what God has asked of me versus me taking God's will and doing things MY way.
Joshua 5:13-15
13 Now when Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand. Joshua went up to him and asked, “Are you for us or for our enemies?”
14 “Neither,” he replied, “but as commander of the army of the Lord I have now come.” Then Joshua fell facedown to the ground in reverence, and asked him, “What message does my Lord[e] have for his servant?”
15 The commander of the Lord’s army replied, “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy.” And Joshua did so.
Trust. Faith. Believe. All words, emotions, and feelings that I have lost in our process of moving. I haven't been trusting. I haven't had faith that it's going to happen. And quite frankly, I haven't been on the believing side of things either. I have felt very alone in my prayers. I have felt like I was talking to myself versus talking to God. Today, that changed. In a quiet moment, Shannon and I both felt a small voice quietly, but with a loving firmness say --- Trust. Trust Me. I know what is best for you and your family. But you need to trust Me. Crap that's hard. Hard to trust. Hard to continue to follow what you believe in your heart is right, but then just wait. And wait. We have felt and have seen so many YES answers to us relocating that we, okay, I, am confused, frustrated and discouraged that we are still sitting.
On another side of trust and listing to my Heavenly Father it also makes me think of earthly fathers. I miss my dad. There is no doubt about it. He passed away over 12 years ago, and today it feels like we just laid him in the ground yesterday. There is a lot I wish he could have seen before he passed -- my college graduation, my wedding and be able to walk me down the aisle, meeting his great grandchildren... helping me plant a small garden.. helping out around the house.. spending time with the family.. just loving life. I know he may have been able to see those things, but now I wish I could have been able to experience those life moments with him. I am so thankful for those of my friends who are able to change their facebook profile photos to their wedding day with their daddy. I am so sad I can't do that. He passed away shortly after my 19th birthday. Today I wish I had more time for more memories with him. I know there is a lot I have forgotten..
I remember him trying to sing "3 French Hens" at a Christmas party and my mom crawling under the table.. I remember days of him working in the garden, providing for his family.. I remember that when he spoke, people listened.. I remember the way he smelled and his aftershave.. I remember he always wore pants, no shirt, a hat, had his water jug and a smile on his face.. I remember his sweet spirit.. I remember that he loved his family and the Lord.. I remember him. And today as I am remembering him, I am hoping to also make memories with my little family. I am praying that what he taught, I will also be able to teach my kiddos.
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