Father's Day

There are some holidays that are bittersweet for a variety of reasons. Mother's and Father's Day are days I should just stuff tissues in my bra and enjoy the day making new memories while revisiting my history and remembering.

We have had some disappointments with the process of moving. We are ready to get an offer, make an offer, box up our stuff, put it in a truck, unload our boxes, unpack them and make new memories. We are just ready. However, it's not happening as we thought that it would. So we wait.

Let me first say this - I love my church - Lifehouse. I/we have found the messages to be what we needed exactly when we needed them. As well as some comic relief -- Harlem Shake - CHECK IT OUT! I'm pretty sure we just watched that video about 20 times.. So, yes, hilarious, but also applicable.. Big idea I grabbed from today - Live a legacy. Not leave a legacy.

I know the basics of a Nobel Peace Prize, but had no idea how the prize came into existence. Turns out the gentleman, Alfred Nobel, read what was supposed to be his brother's obituary but it was actually HIS. From Wikipedia ---

In 1888 Alfred's brother Ludvig died while visiting Cannes and a French newspaper erroneously published Alfred's obituary.^[1] It condemned him for his invention of dynamite and is said to have brought about his decision to leave a better legacy after his death.^[1][7] The obituary stated, Le marchand de la mort est mort ("The merchant of death is dead")^[1] and went on to say, "Dr. Alfred Nobel, who became rich by finding ways to kill more people faster than ever before, died yesterday."^[8] Alfred was disappointed with what he read and concerned with how he would be remembered.

Can you imagine reading what was supposed to be a siblings obituary but it was actually your OWN?! Needless to say, Nobel changed his will and developed what we now know as the Nobel Peace Prize. I found that amazing. He was able to completely change and created a new legacy that day.

Also, there is a huge difference between God's will and doing what God has asked of me versus me taking God's will and doing things MY way. 

Joshua 5:13-15

¹³ Now when Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword in his hand. Joshua went up to him and asked, “Are you for us or for our enemies?”

¹⁴ “Neither,” he replied, “but as commander of the army of the Lord I have now come.” Then Joshua fell facedown to the ground in reverence, and asked him, “What message does my Lord^[e] have for his servant?”

¹⁵ The commander of the Lord’s army replied, “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy.” And Joshua did so.

Trust. Faith. Believe. All words, emotions, and feelings that I have lost in our process of moving. I haven't been trusting. I haven't had faith that it's going to happen. And quite frankly, I haven't been on the believing side of things either. I have felt very alone in my prayers. I have felt like I was talking to myself versus talking to God. Today, that changed. In a quiet moment, Shannon and I both felt a small voice quietly, but with a loving firmness say --- Trust. Trust Me. I know what is best for you and your family. But you need to trust Me. Crap that's hard. Hard to trust. Hard to continue to follow what you believe in your heart is right, but then just wait. And wait. We have felt and have seen so many YES answers to us relocating that we, okay, I, am confused, frustrated and discouraged that we are still sitting. 

On another side of trust and listing to my Heavenly Father it also makes me think of earthly fathers. I miss my dad. There is no doubt about it. He passed away over 12 years ago, and today it feels like we just laid him in the ground yesterday. There is a lot I wish he could have seen before he passed -- my college graduation, my wedding and be able to walk me down the aisle, meeting his great grandchildren... helping me plant a small garden.. helping out around the house.. spending time with the family.. just loving life. I know he may have been able to see those things, but now I wish I could have been able to experience those life moments with him. I am so thankful for those of my friends who are able to change their facebook profile photos to their wedding day with their daddy. I am so sad I can't do that. He passed away shortly after my 19th birthday. Today I wish I had more time for more memories with him. I know there is a lot I have forgotten.. 

I remember him trying to sing "3 French Hens" at a Christmas party and my mom crawling under the table.. I remember days of him working in the garden, providing for his family.. I remember that when he spoke, people listened.. I remember the way he smelled and his aftershave.. I remember he always wore pants, no shirt, a hat, had his water jug and a smile on his face.. I remember his sweet spirit.. I remember that he loved his family and the Lord.. I remember him. And today as I am remembering him, I am hoping to also make memories with my little family. I am praying that what he taught, I will also be able to teach my kiddos.

May box!

I'll be honest, we have had so much stuff going on between Open House, cleaning, working, preschool, T-Ball, etc., etc., etc., that I had the pleasant surprise of just finding my box one day instead of stalking the tracking for it. So, while Landon is half asleep (boo to preschool jacking with any morning naps. Granted, the boy is also almost 17 months old and probably getting ready to transition into one nap versus two. Ugh.)

PEN!!! I'm a sucker for a great pen. I like pens that have a bold look to them, but also smooth. The fine tip Sharpie markers are some of my favorite --- but they can smear. This one doesn't. I do wish it was blue or black (I'm not a huge fan of various shades of ink. Messes with my eyes.) but the slight tinge of purple is a welcome change for me. Plus, it came with a coupon -- win-win!

Blush - Cargo -- it states it's waterproof... I don't live at the beach, or have a pool, but I do sweat. Oh, and cry. I've been emotional lately. It's almost like there is a little too much on my plate. Shocker. Oops. Sorry. Blush. I like the color! It's so nice for my skin tone! Just adds a slight pop of color and a little bit of shimmer. Totally recommend!

Toothpaste. Odd addition, but this also came the day after I bought a tube. Can you say a day late and a dollar short!? Oh well. It's minty and great, but I'm cheap. I'm not paying $10 for toothpaste unless it whitens, brightens, and tons my abs.

Hair Product! Miss Jessie's Jelly Soft Curls is a great product. It's light, but also seems to give some hold to my hair. I like when my hair has some gentle wave to it! The sample was HUGE too (twss) so I've been able to try it out for over a week. Huge plus! 

Moisturizer. Well, I had a blonde moment! I thought this was straight sunscreen and I don't do well in the sun. I burn. No, I usually turn fiery red and am miserable for days. Oh the sunburns... *shivers* So, I'm going to try this out today! Ha. Sounds like it has some great benefits to it .. cucumber, soothe and tone skin, and SPF 30. Granted, if you live in my neck of the woods it feels like winter has returned in May. Hello, Memorial Day? I'll bring my parka! 


While I have you -----

We are still sitting and waiting for an offer on our house. It's been frustrating having two open houses and NOTHING materializing from either. We have so much drive by traffic, but the showings are so sporadic it's disheartening. It will happen. Preschool just ended, T-Ball has another two weeks but then I'm ready to be moving ahead. But if you or someone you know is considering a move to PA, think of our home. Email me for details.

Have a great day folks and Happy Memorial Day to you and yours!

God Will Lift Up Your Head.

I have enjoyed listing to Jars of Clay for years. Many times during their musical career, the lyrics have touched my heart, made me cry, encouraged me, became my song... the list could go on. I've blogged about their music before. I've also included these lyrics in another blog. Ironic that in two of the lowest times in the past two years I have blogged about timing, not having control, just waiting. The first time was when I was going through the process of two miscarriages, now as we are in the limbo state of selling our home, buying/relocating to a new home.
 
This may be redundant to post the lyrics since the video also includes the lyrics, but... I think there's something powerful about just reading the words.

So, for today, whatever YOU may be going through, this is for you (speaking to myself as well). Words of encouragement, hope, joy, comfort and peace.

God Will Lift Up Your Head

Give to the wind your fear
Hope and be undismayed
God hears your sighs and counts your tears
God will lift up, God will lift up, lift up your head

God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
Lift up your head

Leave to His sovereign sway
To choose and to command
Then shall we wandering on His way
Know how wise and how strong
How wise and how strong

God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
Lift up your head

Through waves and clouds and storms, He gently clears the way
Wait because in His time, so shall this night
Soon end in joy, soon end in joy
Soon end in joy, soon end in joy

God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head

Writer: MASON, STEPHEN DANIEL / LOWELL, CHARLIE / HASELTINE, DAN / ODMARK, MATT / DP,
Lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group

Shaving cream and body lotion..... and some April box opinions :)

Right now, coffee has brewed, Landon is asleep, and I have 2 hours to work out and get a shower before picking up Audrey from preschool.. But this opinion blog will be short, sweet and to the point!

Whish! Shaving cream smells amazing.. Blueberry! Yum. But, I like a lather, and this didn't lather up for me. I'm also way cheap -- I would never spend $20 for shaving cream unless it was also going to eliminate body fat!

Body Lotion -- okay, ladies, let's be honest --- who does NOT have a drawer full of body lotions? I could use another bottle of lotion like I need a hole in my head. Again, it was lotion.. but I wouldn't spend $22 on it... (Unless there was a guarantee to eliminate body fat, cellulite, and the like!)


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While you are hanging around... Here is part of my April Birchbox

Macaroons -- honestly, I wouldn't buy them. Landon ate them, because he eats almost anything.

CC Cream! I use BB Creams, and I was curious to know, feel and see the difference in a CC Cream. I think I would go back and forth from one to the other. I tried it out and went to work. I ran around like a crazy person that night, and didn't feel oily. Rare, and something I appreciate in this time of the year. I think the name "Supergoop!" is just hilarious and would consider purchasing this item for the name :)

Eye Cream -- hello 30's! Yes, I have been using eye creams for a long time. And I will continue to use them! Ha. I like how this one feels, and if it wasn't $65 I would probably purchase. It would last forever, but I couldn't go to a store, spend $65 on one item and walk away. A little dab will do ya on this one... I like how this one felt, and it didn't smell. My eyes didn't have a reaction. I will use the sample dry, and debate about getting a full size item :)

Limbo...

First, I don't do well with change. I like the same, the normal, the predictable. Second, I don't like not knowing what is coming, or not having a date attached. Third, I'm ready to finish one chapter in our lives, and start another. 

That being said ..... We had an open house this past weekend. I knew it was okay to be disappointed, when my realtor was ALSO disappointed. Blah. I know this process of moving is just that -- a process. In my/our own (and extremely humble opinion!) we have a beautiful, well-maintained home in a great location. The only downfall of our place is there is no basement, crawlspace, yes, but no basement. (Maybe I should post some photos of the pond that happens next to us when we have crazy amounts of rain... and THAT'S why there is no basement.) However, there is a TON of storage elsewhere. Why in the world do I feel the need to justify my own home? Blah. 

We have some interest, but no offers. We have placed offers, but I am so curious to know what it feels like to read and receive an offer. We know what it's like to be disappointed with a counter offer... but we haven't had the opportunity to make a counter, or flat out accept an offer. 

I'll be honest - I'm frustrated. I thought this was going to be easier. A dear friend reminded me that the right family may not be looking just yet, or just haven't made an appointment to see our home. I'm being selfish and expecting this to happen in MY time. Hey, Bran --- it's not going to.. 

God.. May all things work together and fit together so perfectly that we know it's from You. Place the perfect family into our path and show us the perfect next home for our family. For the billionth time, or so it seems to me, I give this to You. I just realized how impatient I can be, Lord.. I have in my heart that I hope to have the process complete by the time Audrey goes to Kindergarten... it's not even summer yet. Spring is still blooming - as are Your blessings and provisions for us. Thank You for that reminder. As the trees bud, and flowers start to blossom, I am reminded that You are in control. It was the spring time we let go of getting pregnant and now we have the blessing of Landon in our lives and home. I thank You for the opportunities we have been blessed with. Thank You. Your perfect timing, Lord, not our impatient timing. Amen.

March Box (and other tidbits!)

This box had its perks as well as its disappointments. Out of the 5 items - a nail file, eye primer, acne gel, body lotion, and shaving cream - I have tried 2 of the items already. Oh well. A sample size of some items will come in handy!

First, the eye primer. I love Benefit. The packaging is uber cute, and I really like how my skin feels with the products. Stay Don't Stray Primer does a great job. It's neutral for my skin tone, and it doesn't feel icky. Plus, it's also a very matte finish and my eye shadow doesn't sink into my itty bitty wrinkles. Blah. Getting older... Anyway..

A nail file. Okay. Let's be honest - a nail file, to me, is a nail file. The plus, is that it does come in a plastic sleeve so I won't file off polish, skin, etc. Nail File is pretty, so it will get use :)

This Blemish Serum couldn't have come at a better time for me!!! My chin has been broken out for a week or so and I hate it. Thirty something and still get acne. Ugh. Hormones (that could be a whole blog in and of itself ... with a LOT of tangents!) But, seriously, this serum is great. It doesn't feel like a medication, but it has also cleared up my chin. YAY!!! So, I would totally recommend... and may have to purchase for future references!!

On another note ---- I thought my pants seemed to have less of a muffin top the other day. I measured myself today on a whim to see if there really has been any change. I'm going to remeasure and weigh tomorrow to make sure, but I think I have lost an inch in my mid-section! Talk about a confidence boost! Even today I think my jeans are looking better and have less stuff coming out the top :)

With that being said --- Happy Friday, friends!

Holy cow. Been busy!

So, I just realized it's been almost a month since my last blog. Needless to say, things have been busy! My part time barista job is going well! I enjoy being able to get out of the house for a little bit, make money for our family... Plus, it also gives me, and my kiddos, a break from one another. I love them, but we certainly do appreciate each other when we are apart. I'm feeling much more comfortable completing the tasks at hand which is good! Still learning, and slow, but I think I'm doing well...?? Hopefully!

House --- We've had some interest, nothing uber serious, yet... I feel like we are in a hurry up and wait phase of selling. There is an interested family that is also selling their home, so we will see. We have seen quite a few homes in our new area that we can cross off our list of potential future homes. But, as of right now, it's okay. We don't have any time restrictions to force us into a place. We have had quite a bit of interest in the past month.. We are just waiting for an offer to begin seriously looking for our next place.

My blessings

Kiddos. Oh dear. They are ridiculous :) Audrey has a date for Kindergarten registration (seriously, when did THAT happen?!) and I know she will do amazing. If she is able to focus on the task at hand. She's doing very well in preschool and she loves it. This girl loves her toys. And she loves to line things up and have elaborate stories.  However, she doesn't always clean up as she should. So, every item I have picked up goes into a bin and she can earn as many back in a day as she wants through picking a task, helping out around the house, being kind, or because she's just been a good kid for that moment.

Did I mention she turned 5!?

Her task - clean under the couch. She took it up a notch and vacuumed almost 2 rooms.

Landon. OMG. This boy. He's a hoot. And, if he could, I think he would be able to eat his sister under the table. He is learning and using signs! It's been amazing watching and hearing his vocabulary grow. He can sign please, more, thank you... He loves 'ba' <-- banana and will eat an entire one to himself. He has no interest in walking, but he can crawl in a hurry to get what he wants!

Bath Time!

Digging in the girly toys

Did this yesterday. I am sore today! LOVE IT!

The other thing I have picked up, again, is working out. Jeans I bought a few months ago are tight, and I hate it. I hate feeling limited in my clothes that I am comfortable wearing. I want to wear the trendy, cute items. So, I have joined Planet Fitness and I am also trying to be more aware of what I am eating, what I give my kiddos to eat, and how much water I drink. I follow other moms who have lost crazy amounts of weight and realize there is NO REASON why I can't do it too. That being said, my first goal is to loose 25 pounds by June 1. I want to be at least 50 pounds lighter by the time another baby comes into our lives. A dear friend has started a support group on facebook and it's been so encouraging to hear how others are DOING IT. Making a change, eating well, seeing differences in their bodies. I really do need to take some dreaded before photos, and measurements, so I can see where I was and how far I have come. (Note to self. Add that to the To Do list!)

Black sparkly headband

In all this chaos, I still make time for yarn. Love my yarn time. A chance for me to relax and unwind.. I seem to be on a bit of an animal streak -- snake scarf, monkey hat, frog hat.. I just realized that! HA!! But, I've also made headbands, fingerless mittens, and working on a blanket for Landon. And, yes, that blanket may end up being huge because IT'S THAT SOFT AND I WANT IT! We'll see. It may happen. 

Snake scarf

Monkey hat.

Gloves I almost kept for myself! :)

Gray headband with flower pin